mercredi 27 avril 2011

two groups

they talk past each other
unaware
they really have the same goals
unaware
of friendship

everything's not lost

nothing pleases me anymore

well that's an exaggeration isn't it? It's not quite nothing, just the routine humdrum of everyday life. I mean if you took me skydiving right now I would probably be grinning ear to ear and my face would look like I just had an orgasm.

And I wonder that no matter where you go in life, what job you have or what you have accomplished, it all won't fucking matter because you know what? we're human. we have amygdalas. no matter how progressive we are, the basic pattern of our circuits was laid out thousands and millions of years ago.

miles to go before I sleep
miles to go before I sleep

when life is a drag

make instant noodles. with stir fried black mushrooms and ginger.

mardi 26 avril 2011

Secrecy cannot love Forever

your cunning Tongue! and impassioned Hands—
rub into my soul like no others can.
well, hyperbole. if others tried
would anyone rival you in Luxury ?
“No .” comes my tender whisper. a Lie—
for which my conscience lingers. you would be—
the perfect one for Me
if not for social—mores;
Acceptability—

Secrecy cannot love
Forever.
Romeo and Juliet was
Tragedy—

hello. it is good to see your sunny face.

five years later it is 10:05 am and oh dear blogging, I have fallen back into your arms. I didn't realise how much I missed this. I mean I guess I thought it was childish and that I had outgrown you... but really you were waiting for me all along. I'm a different person now, yet still the same. The same themes still remain.

-- I really shouldn't be making out with you at this moment in time stuck between six donuts I bought at 4:30 am and 11 am zhongwen class, but I love you. I love you like demonstrators love paving stones that sit on urban beaches. (sous les pavés le plage. je t'aime je t'aime je t'aime)

I guess I snubbed you for that snotty girl facebook, whose face I must still see daily, but you my dear, you have soul. here there are no false appearances, no fronts, no careful cultivation of an image, untaggings and careful considerations. freedom. ziyou. I mean I remember 2003 and 2004 where blogging was like the hip thing to do and my sister did it.

:: checking what remains of my blogroll, which I have no time to fix

oh hey she's still blogging. and Fabriz. and John Foo but he moved and everyone else is gone. but I'm excited. youuu make me happy. do you realise? I did not realise that it was in front of me.

see, I wrote, but I wrote for others, and was constrained. I wrote for me, sometimes. but here I write to you. it's a little different. I mean I'm going to use the little things I've learnt over physics lab this past year to put an analogy: facebook notes are like zero impedance. writing to yourself is like infinite impedance. here making love to you has characteristic impedance and some essence seems to drift forever, timelessly.

I must redress you of course. you look a little shabby. a little worn. a little retro. you have charm. I shall love you again. In semi-public. If we are discovered that is part of the excitement. If we are not, we have us.

--

I remembered you when I discovered the internet archive of the blog of Singapore's new favourite Opposition minister, Nicole Seah. An ironically it was through a comment of a PAP supporter who for some reason thought that such strong, emotional writing did not portray a strong-willed, talented human being who as a student had many endeavours and conflicts that would surely lay a strong foundation for thinking critically and empathising with her constituency. Well I do. And that makes Ms. Nicole more endearing. Seeing her love of writing, made me remember you.

hello. my name is john riemann soong, aka Evariste, avec l'aspiration d'etre d'une unique sorte de fille. if you remember. I don't think I told you before, but now I don't hold back. I am preparing to write a forceful argument in zhongwen for my 8-minute presentation that will sweep everyone away. just you watch. I have to study for a likely biochemistry quiz though. and do shamefully abysmally late lab reports. new subjects, old tricks, my love.