John Mayer soothes.

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

an experiment

in positive psychology. remember that time we were five and Sesame Street, in its peculiarly simple wisdom was on and it was February and the hill in Cape Elizabeth kindergarten was oh so big to slide on and I couldn't figure out whether that turquoise napkin was blue or green? life was good then, but the power of the technique is that you can bring that happiness of that moment and apply it to this one. and I feel better already.

snow

Went to a snowball fight on the Lawn this morning at midnight. Might have been 200-300 people there? In a way, I felt very much alive. Nothing spells "transient beauty" like snow in Charlottesville. It shall all melt tomorrow.

Kanye West and Jay-Z suffer from existentialism.

So does Lily Allen, if you know her style from other songs.

I'm not eavesdropping.

standing at the door of Eternity
I can hear her flywheels whine
I dare.
     I dare not.
           I dare.
                 I cannot-- knock
but I strain to ask--
what can I do, to pass the time?

no answer.
but I dare not knock.

standing at the door of Eternity
I can hear her flywheels whine

the anagram

oh an anagram we shall build
let us think!
and pick thoughts from each other
then put them back together
.          oh young apprentice--
.          it is indeed a cold winter
.    and so the mind must surely wander
so fleeting, fleeting-- are the thoughts
that seep out of the decaying rots
.       of teeming dendrites in the rain--
.             at least we have each other.

la silence d'hiver

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.


-- Robert Frost





why winter can be depressing

je pense, donc...

I dunno. I like thinking. It may because I am human -- perhaps the Queen Bee cannot conceive any other more pleasurable existence than laying her own weight in eggs everyday -- but oh-- it is simply the laws of probability that stun me.

The Universe is over 13-15 billion years old, and I was placed into this current era as brief as a human lifespan-- and one must think-- how did it come that I be awake in /this/ era, and not say, the Middle Ages or 40,000 years ago? And then my candle will go out, I will not be able to experience any of the human history that comes after it.

I'm not complaining (okay maybe I am, a little) but it is with puzzlement and wonder that I imagine the freakiness of being alive.